What Is Dick-Think?

For as long as I can remember men have been accused of thinking with their dicks instead of their brains as if it is something we should be ashamed of, and something we should remedy in some manner.  Why?  No really, why?  I don't get it.

We, men, are really quite simple creatures.  Our minds are preoccupied with two thoughts, food, and fornicating. Sometimes napping, but mainly food and fornicating.  If you take fornication out of the mix we would still be living in caves, killing the occasional mammoth and napping until our tummies growled, and we were once again compelled to go in search of the next thing to eat.

It is dick-think that has propelled civilization forward.  Without dick-think there would be no automatic dishwashers or washing machines.  We already had those, they were called wives.  We invented the dishwasher to keep women we like around, and to make the others shut-up.

The more indignant of you will now want to tell me that Josephine Cochran invented the dishwasher in 1886; but she didn't.  Joel  Houghton invented the dishwasher in 1850.  It wasn't a very good contraption, so Ms. Cochran made it easier to use and filed the patent on it.

The point being, dick-think is not a character flaw.  It is in our DNA, it is who we are, it is what makes the world go around.  Ladies, it may be the 'new age man' who puts the toilet seat down and loads the damn dishwasher, but its the caveman that throws you down and ravishes you, and that is what your fantasies are made of.

Dick-think, is a column label for women who want to know what men really think.  Just ask, I'll tell.  Your relationship will be the happier for it.

What Is A Chad?

Dorks, Geeks, and Freaks, know that they are Dorks, Geeks, and Freaks, and are usually comfortable with their identity.  They are defined by their interests, and intellect.

Chads come in all ages, sizes, cultures, and colors and have no clue that they are Chads. They actually think they are cool.  Chads do not have an identity of any real substance, and lack the confidence and depth to be in search of one.  They are followers, not leaders.  They are more or less, the male equivalent to a Bimbo.  They are defined by what they wear, and what they own.

Although it is somewhat difficult to describe a Chad, there are essentially three kinds, and they are easy to recognize as demonstrated with these pictures I found in Google images:

1. The Simple Chad, a.k.a., The Budweiser Chad.

Fifteen year olds think he is hot. The simple Chad simply doesn't know any better.  He is the product of his breeding, his education, and his environment.  The sight of him will make you want to roll your eyes, but you can't really hate on him.  He is what he is, and he'll be good enough for a female of the same ilk, and they will live happily ever after and make many little Chads.



2.  The Super Chad, a.k.a., The Grande Latte, Low Sodium, Low Fat, Ice On The Side, ...  Chad.

His mom thinks he is hot. The Super Chad more often than not is a trust fund baby who has all the advantages of station and really should know better, but can't break away from mommy long enough to get a life.  He'll make you want to roll your eyes and laugh behind his back.  Eventually he will marry someone named Buffy, and produce the most horrible little brats that you just want to punch in the face.

3.  The King Chad, a.k.a., The Douchebag.

Nobody thinks he is hot. Additional definition seems redundent. Affect: Roll eyes openly, laugh in face, throw-up. Too blazed, too lazy, and too stupid to reproduce.

Bottom line Gentlemen, DON'T BE THESE GUYS! It's not going to get you the action you think it is.  Lose the white glasses and you have taken the first step towards dechadification.

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Disclaimer:  I do not know these individuals, and have no clue if they are actual Chads, or are named Chad.  They may all be Rocket Scientists and contributing members of society.  They were selected based on the surfce evidence.  As always, these are just my opinions.